Reel Country Co

The chapter of my life I’d call The Hard Years would be the years right after my mom died.

She had been sick for a while, so it wasn’t exactly unexpected, but that didn’t make it easy. I was 20 years old. We weren’t especially close, but losing a parent at that age still changes your world in ways you don’t expect.

About six months later, my dad was diagnosed with cancer.

That wasn’t exactly a fun plot twist.

At the time, I was in college. I tried to push through, but after losing my mom, I couldn’t handle being hours away from my dad while he was going through treatment. So I made the difficult decision to leave school. I was a senior when I dropped out.

Of course, bills don’t stop just because life gets complicated, so I got a job at a theme park.

Let me tell you, that job is not for the faint of heart.

I worked there for three years, and there were stretches where I worked sixteen-hour days for months at a time without a day off. Current Laura looks back at Past Laura and honestly has no idea how she managed it. Somehow, she did.

When I think about what got me through those years, the answer is pretty simple: my faith and my people.

When I thought I might lose my dad too, I prayed. A lot.

I didn’t know how to exist without him then, and if I’m being honest, I still don’t really know how to imagine it now. My dad and I have always been close. If something happens—good, bad, exciting, frustrating, funny—he’s usually the first person I call. Most days we talk at least twice. He’s been my rock for as long as I can remember.

My best friend helped carry me through those years too. We lived states apart, but we made it work. We watched movies and television together, spent hours on Skype, talked whenever we could, and visited when it was possible. These days we still talk regularly, though now there’s usually a video game involved somewhere.

So what got me through The Hard Years?

My faith and my people.

They’ve gotten me through a lot.

And there have certainly been other hard years since then. I lost my fiancé. I went back to college at 29 to finish my undergraduate degree. I moved farther away from my best friend. For the first time in my life, I live several hours away from my dad.

Life has a way of bringing hard seasons whether we’re ready for them or not.

Even today, as I’m writing this on July 5th, my neighbor is setting off fireworks. I hate fireworks. They’re loud, unpredictable, and overwhelming for me as an autistic person. Years ago, I probably would have gone and sat with my dad until it was over. These days, I have to navigate those moments on my own.

But I’ve learned something over the years.

Hard days come and go. Hard seasons come and go.

And when things get difficult, my people are still only a phone call away, and my God is only a prayer away.

So maybe that’s the real title of the chapter.

Not The Hard Years.

Maybe it’s The Years That Taught Me I Wasn’t Alone.

And besides, as the sticker on my journal reminds me: “You’re never alone. There’s always bugs.” 🐞